Wednesday, May 20, 2009

A Paragraph in Segregating Style

The hands of the clock stopped on twelve: It was midnight.
The man turned the key in the lock, and the door opened with a loud click. He walked in slowly. The moonlight cast a long shadow on the cold floor. He paused for a moment, then started to walk towards the bed, where she sat trembling.
He was holding something in his gloved hands.
The man stood close to her and stared at her wide eyes. His heavy breaths filled the silence of the room. He stretched out his hands, and the key fell on the floor. Its metallic sound hit the walls and echoed in the room.
She gasped in surprise.
He smiled then, put the box on her lap and whispered, "Happy Birthday."

5 comments:

  1. I was shocked when I read the first few lines, considering the lesson we recently had in the reading class, I thought a murder was going to happen, but I was surprised by the ending... nice job you've done here.

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  2. So impressive dear,
    an unbelievable ending, but If I were you, I would put an end to it by a kind of embracing.
    Wish you luck,
    S.J.

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  3. You've managed to create a parody of Poe, and done it well!
    (Yes, I used an exclamation point because I'm happy. :-) )

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  4. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
    That was my brain's sound.
    Any way I see you don't need to get angry to write s.th good at all!
    Wish you so much luck.

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